The Beauty of Self Acceptance

One of the easiest ways to subject yourself to a lifetime of suffering is by trying to be someone that you are not. I believe that as long as you have dealt with the struggles of growing up, you have battled self acceptance at one point or another.

We live in a society that stigmatises/normalises certain qualities. It is very easy to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves with the standards that are forced on us. So, equally appreciating the beauty of both our flaws and perfections; as well as strengths and weakness is a habit that has to be cultivated as I don’t think it comes naturally for everyone.

Walking deeper into adulting, the reality of my lack of self acceptance hit me like a brick. I had faced a couple of challenges that made me to doubt myself and my self-esteem took a nosedive. I was so invested in getting the approval of my family, my place of work and the person I was dating all at the same time. I tried to adapt to everyone’s idea of who I was, that I lost myself in the process.

I started to see traits of my parents in myself, both the good and the bad, but was very focused on my weaknesses and shortcomings. So, I put on this mask of who I thought I was supposed to be. But the interesting thing is that you cannot scam life or lie to yourself.

The cocktail of our flaws and perfections is where the beauty lies because when you look deeper into it, it’s a perfectly blended equation. We cannot be one without the other.

My true self (slightly intolerant, straightforward and stubborn traits) found its way into everything I did. I became very irritable and sensitive to criticism because they felt like an attack;- In the bid of self denial, criticism feels like an attack because it is a constant reminder of the neglected growth that is supposed to lead you to fulfil your purpose, I believe.

I knew that something was out of place but didn’t quite figure it out easily because I was lost in a circus of seeking others’ approval. After getting to a very low point, I unconsciously started to develop an aversion for my parents, as my existence that I hated so much came from them. The mind-fuck of how we can be our own worst enemy.

The journey to self acceptance is very unapologetic and fearless.

Solidarity seemed like the only remedy to feel like myself again and to try and figure out exactly what had gone wrong (which I have talked about in previous posts). Now, I am so in love with all my shortcomings because without them, there wouldn’t be room for growth. They make me who I am. I have harshly come to the realisation that self acceptance is the gateway to self improvement.

Criticism doesn’t upset me anymore because I know they help me to be a better version of myself- constructive criticism anyway. No one is perfect but I can use my imperfections to be a better person. Recognising shortcomings give a more realistic approach to solving problems. That’s the beauty of it all. It’s crazy how things work together when we accept the reality of what it is.

“Once we accept our limits, we go beyond them” – Albert Einstein

I was hanging out with my family the other day, and my dad told me that I reminded him a lot of my mum in every way, both looks and character. Despite the fact that they ended badly, in that moment, I felt at peace. I am filled with the acceptance of who I am, where I come from and I have faith in where I am going.

I cannot lie that I have still have some bad days. Days that I feel like I am no good and unbearable to the people around me. While I am not quite there yet, I am a work in progress and would continue to embrace the journey of self acceptance.

One thing I still need to get a lot better at though, is having the humility to ask for help when I need it. I hope my stubborn nature doesn’t get the best of me.

How did your own journey on self acceptance begin? I would like to hear your stories. Leave a comment.

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