Love is such a beautiful thing. When the conditions are perfect, it can be so sweet. And the crazy thing is that even when the conditions aren’t perfect, love always finds a way. I have been lucky to fall in love twice and both were very beautiful.
My first love was my father. Always been a daddy’s girl for as long as I can remember; and up till today, we share stories of our bonding moments from when I was little. It was quite easy to sail through my childhood as a daddy’s girl because he always had a soft spot for me, I always got what I wanted. However when I went to uni, things changed and we started to drift apart.
I grew into a young woman that had her own opinions and wasn’t relying on daddy all the time anymore. Also, my parents had a rather messy separation that made me to start to see him in a different light. While I still have a decent relationship my dad, the daddy-daughter “daddy’s pet” shenanigans died along the line of adulting.
During my foundation, I met a boy and was really attracted to him. A couple of months later, we were head over heels with one another and thought we would be together forever. Lol. But we were too young to make overly important decisions and so the relationship didn’t work out. I cannot lie that the breakup hurt more than I thought it would. While I am glad and grateful to have experienced the teenage-fever-love, I laugh at the naivety.
I say naivety because we didn’t know ourselves at that point in time. I was 16 and barely even knew what the world was about. When I look back at my failed relationships and poor attempts at love, I am able to conclude one thing. To love someone wholly, you have to love yourself first wholly. Self love is the beginning of a lifetime of romance. When you love yourself unconditionally, you are not seeking external validation or approval. Everything else seamlessly falls into place and regardless of the process or outcome, you are confident that things are working in your favour.
How you love yourself, is how you teach others to love you...
Now, I know a lot better and boldly say that before one can commit into a relationship with another person, you have to first know yourself fully and accept who you are. Or else you find yourself adjusting to how every other person views you and lose yourself in the process. This is the first and most important love lesson that I have learned so far in my life.
Losing yourself is the easiest way to jeopardise your life. Because you have to keep up appearances- (basically wearing a mask) just to get by even the most basic of tasks. While you can get someone else to fall in love with that mask, you will have a difficult time loving yourself because something will always feel out of place. -(those that are able to live their entire lives comfortably and unremorsefully with a mask are psychopaths in my opinion).
Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love. 1 CORINTHIANS 13:13
Life is not supposed to be complex and God has made everything easier for us as well through His words. The nuggets for this whole post is this: it is human nature to want to be loved deeply, but you have to start with yourself.
Set the tone/pace and watch the world adjust in your favour.